I recently followed @seinfeldstories on Twitter. Complete episodes of Seinfeld encapsulated in 140 characters or less. It may be the most brilliant Twitter feed ever. Yesterday on my Twitter feed, I kind of lost my mind and played along. Here are MY Seinfeld Stories:

On the first day of summer, Jerry and Kramer argue over how to pronounce “solstice.” Elaine housesits for a man with OCD. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer & Mickey are live models for a Big and Small clothes shop; Jerry & Newman are outraged the store doesn’t serve them. @SeinfeldStories

Jerry is exasperated by the pizza delivery business Newman is running out of his apartment. George fears he has narcolepsy. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer makes corntato moonshine in Jerry’s bathtub; George lusts after a woman he mistakenly believes is Elaine’s sister. @SeinfeldStories

George’s obsessed with a vending machine because the soda is “The perfect coldness.” Elaine cheaps out on a wedding gift. @SeinfeldStories

Newman turns over a new leaf after a near-death experience. George plays polo. @SeinfeldStories

Elaine can’t find any beads that fit a charm bracelet George got her for her birthday. Jerry’s TiVo has a mind of its own. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer thinks he remembers a Beatles song no one else remembers; George figures he can avoid taxes by working for the IRS. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer can’t stop tweeting and is hurt when the gang unfriends him. Newman steals porn from someone on his mail route. @SeinfeldStories

Jerry teaches public speaking at the Learning Annex to work off community service from a speeding ticket. George could have lupus. @Seinfeld stories

Kramer picks up chicks at the library. Jerry wonders if he should move to New Zealand. @SeinfeldStories

Newman sells kittens on Craigslist. Jerry can’t get enough of the chipped beef at Monk’s. @SeinfeldStories

George’s dad orders french toast at McDonald’s and refuses to leave until he gets it. Kramer loses his remote. @SeinfeldStories

George wears a bow tie. Elaine and Jerry are banned from their favorite pizza shop. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer tries to make amends with George Takei after calling him “Mr. Zulu” at a Broadway show. Jerry has too many nickels. @SeinfeldStories

George won’t take off his cowboy hat. Jerry and Newman make a bet about Elaine but won’t tell her what it is. @SeinfeldStories

Puddy ponders a run for city council. Elaine babysits a friend’s pet ocelot. George fears he has scabies. @SeinfeldStories

J Peterman starts a tent city in Central Park and becomes a Colonel Kurtz-like figure. George writes a dirty haiku. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer and Newman become each other’s life insurance beneficiaries. Jerry’s new girlfriend thinks she’s a great kazoo player. @SeinfeldStories

Elaine dates a man with a flatulence fetish. Kramer discovers a different zodiac sign has his correct daily horoscope. @SeinfeldStories

Elaine and Jerry pretend to be married so she can collect an inheritance. Kramer’s baffled he can’t find blank VHS tapes. @SeinfeldStories

George is getting a lot of sex but due to embarrassment has to buy lots of groceries whenever he needs more condoms. @SeinfeldStories

George’s mother thinks an old eviction letter means they have to move. Elaine has Bell’s Palsy. @SeinfeldStories

Newman tries to unload 500 pounds of shrimp before it goes bad. George’s car radio only plays polka music. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer learns “Canadian” from a shady tutor. George demands cheese sauce on everything he eats. @SeinfeldStories

Jerry grows a goatee. Kramer gets a job on a ferry. Elaine keeps missing a FedEx delivery. @SeinfeldStories

George believes Elaine’s new boyfriend is a serial killer. Kramer wins a shopping spree. @SeinfeldStories

Jerry seeks a humane solution to an infestation of adorable mice. Newman starts delivering mail on Sundays. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer finds historical evidence that New York’s state capital is actually Schenectady. Elaine has a rash. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer finds a box of scratch-off lottery tickets in the trash. Jerry woos a Japanese model who doesn’t speak english. @SeinfeldStories

Elaine thinks The Naked Cowboy is stalking her. George dates a Rosicrucian. @SeinfeldStories

Elaine defies the supermarket 10 Items or Less aisle. Kramer gets a star named after him by a secret admirer. @SeinfeldStories

Kramer gets a draft notice sent in 1971. Jerry brings home a fluffy hotel towel from a comedy gig. @SeinfeldStories

Newman fakes his own death. George can’t find the only dental floss he can stand. @SeinfeldStories

Jerry wonders if an old flame’s son might be his. Kramer craves authentic Cajun food. @SeinfeldStories

George trades in his old computer but forgets to delete embarrassing files. Elaine develops carpal tunnel. @SeinfeldStories

Jerry fears all his friends have been taken up in “The Rapture.” Newman holds a yard sale in the lobby. @SeinfeldStories

A computer glitch gives George unlimited car rentals. Kramer invents a new vegetable, the “corntato.” @SeinfeldStories

Jerry’s girlfriend won’t stop sending him racy pictures. Elaine throws a dinner party. @SeinfeldStories

George agrees to go camping with his father. Kramer promotes Monk’s in a bear costume. @SeinfeldStories

Elaine tries to extend the life of her favorite pen, which is no longer produced. Jerry meets a girl at a booksigning. @SeinfeldStories

Jerry tries to get out of jury duty. Kramer thinks it’s funny to call it “Jerry duty.” George starts couponing. @SeinfeldStories

Newman agrees to help Puddy sell his old comic books on eBay. Jerry gets the hiccups. @SeinfeldStories

Elaine becomes a model. George schemes to cheat on the police academy entrance exam. Jerry thinks NO-DOZ is a sleep aid. @SeinfeldStories

George fears he may have rabies. Kramer loves his new toothbrush. @SeinfeldStories

Jerry dates a travelling saleswoman. Kramer gets his own radio talk show. @SeinfeldStories

Elaine discovers there may be a real Art Vandelay. Kramer and Newman take up knitting. George dates his mother’s friend. @SeinfeldStories